Saturday, October 22, 2005

Paving The Way

It Is

There’s a lot of talk of greatness, of the things to come and the things that may be: talking about vision and the objects within sight and those remain to be seen. There’s a sense of anticipation but for now there is nothing to anticipate – perhaps one step and the next, but beyond this numbing repetition there is little certain about where we’re going or how we came to be there and what will be done once we arrive.

She grabbed my arm, forty-five degrees from hip to shoulder; she laid her palm delicately against my wrist: a gesture of lightness against the weight of her pain. As we hobbled deliberately our smiles sang and her light-touch grew to allow transference of her burden. Now, I held her with my sway as her legs became enfeebled, but we walked without faltering and we laughed and neither of us gave credence to the reality of our discomfort.

Rolling hills and throbbing feet met voices: Ain’t gonna let nobody turn us around.

Step for step, step for step, step for step. A helpful trick: Heal. Toe. Heal. Toe. Heal, toe (an order),

Aint gonna let nobody turn us around: she sang as she held me, my eyes, coated with tears, turned inward from the pain I saw. “I know his pain,” I thought to myself – and I did. “This is going to be one of those trips,” I offered through gritted teeth. And she held me.

I was wrong. This isn’t one of those ‘those’ trips because they haven’t been and will never be again and as we say to each other when our greatest hopes are challenged, “it is what it is” and nothing is beyond reason or beyond a mechanism of healing.

We are a family of survivors. Once you have survived, you know that defeat is not absolute.

Aint gonna let nobody turn us, but ourselves, and we came too far, too long ago to resign to toe, heal, toe, heal – a backward trot and a downward glance.

We held each other, and that was fine.

Daniel Solon


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