Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Paving The Way

Snap and Pop

Snap: and it was set: his hand on the sign, “Entering Elkwood”, and behind his glasses: eyes burning wild with pride. This was only one of so many such pictures: Entering Trenton, Entering Cecil County, Entering Nowhere at All.

For a boy from The City, he was so excited about being nowhere, so glad that he could make the trip to this in-between, and so grateful that this instant of satisfaction would forever be caught in as few as two dimensions.

That morning he had taken pills, many pills, “toxic AIDS drugs”. There were maybe seven of them, and large. They were white and powdery, or orange and obscenely oblong. With a cupped palm he tossed them all in his mouth and without the assistance of water or juice or food, he swallowed them whole.

That instant may never be caught on camera or printed on glossy paper. That sort of preservation only serves in reckoning feelings that exist beyond the now; a vague reminder that sensations exist in both positive as well as negative realms.

That moment, the blurred motion from bottle to throat, lives indelibly in his consciousness as both fear and salvation and, at the very least, allows him to visit Elkwood and Cecil County. It is a means to his mortal prolongation, not a means to an end, or rather not the means to a desirable end.

But for now he can experience in many more than 2 dimensions. And now is the time that he suffers to know; he is surrounded by beauty and a great deal of love. And it happened on the brink of nowhere while his mind was alert, his body was active, and his life, not geography, was the best part of what lied ahead.

Daniel Solon
11.2.2005


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